Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps treating you like a piece of fine china. The man who worships you in this way is not seeing you; he is seeing his fantasy, and when you fail to live up to that image he may turn nasty. So there may not be much difference between the man who talks down to you and the one who elevates you; both are displaying a failure to respect you as a real human being and bode ill.
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Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via jolinxo)
I shall not entirely
Sit emptied of beauties, the gift
Of your small breath, the drenched grass
Smell of your sleeps, lilies, lilies.
—
Sylvia Plath, from “The Night Dances” (via theclassicsreader)
In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood [sexual] victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology… Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for… This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men.
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Lundy Bancroft (via proletarianprincess)
Damn. Glendale and Eagle Rock got all the pinoy spots. That’s what’s up.
You take it all away when you leave. The skies open up and suck the marrow from the earth. I limp through every day and night just to make way for the few days we get together. I’d do it for an eternity if I had to. I won’t leave.
Taking Victoria to the airport now. This part is the worst.
Anonymous asked: Do you have short term memory loss? each of you? so you document everything ? :)
Actually, we both do, yes.
I’m really fascinated by Victoria’s makeup routine. It’s such a skill. She’s developed her craft. It’s unreal. It’s like watching a young Sandy Koufax paint the corner of the plate. She’s a phenom.